For the longest time I have wanted to put together a list of all the nicknames that can be found in NASCAR.  Well that day has come my friends!  The following is the article of my dreams – and every driver’s nightmare.  Not only will this include all the happy nicknames that the driver’s parents and friends gave them, but also include the names us JNFL members have occasionally called the sorry saps when they crash and ruin our chances of winning the championship. 

Before you read any further I must, MUST, warn all of you – THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS EXTREMELY OFFENSIVE MATERIAL.  It is the purpose of this article to bring about laughter.  Please do not take any attacks on your favorite driver personally.  And for God’s sake Billy, don’t e-mail this to Dale Jr.’s sister.

This could take me a while so I will have to post changes and updates on a continual basis.  I would greatly appreciate contributions from our JNFL members.  This list is generated almost strictly from my memory of time spent with all you knuckleheads drinking too much beer watching races.  Sitting at a bar with fans of all the drivers’ calls for some hard-core trash talking that has to answer to nobody when political correctness is concerned.  So kids, if you read this stuff, please understand it is completely inappropriate.  Do NOT repeat what your read here, and if you do, don’t mention the website when you are about to get spanked. 

Without any further ado, I give you the list:

·        A. J. Allmendinger – A.J. Dingelberry;  A.J. Almond-joys-got-nuts-mounds-don’t;  A.J. Alphabet.

·        Kurt Busch – Skirt Busch;  Rubberhead;  Dumbo;  Jack-ass;  Big ears;  Spencer’s little bitch;  "Stinky, smelly, hairy, skanky Busch"

·        Kyle Busch – Shrub;  Rowdy;  Mini-skirt Busch;  Punk.

·        Jeff Gordon – The Rainbow Warrior;  4-time champ;  Gordo;  Wonder Boy;  Fag Boy;  FAG (Fans Against Gordon);  Homo Boy;  The Homo Warrior;  Jeffey-poo.

·        Bobby Labonte – Booby Lobotomy; 

·        Denny Hamlin – Henny Damnlin; 

·        Brian Vickers – Brian Wreckers

·        Ryan Newman – Flyin Ryan;  Newman (Seinfeld);  Rocket Man.

·        Dale Earnhardt Jr. – Junior;  June-bug;  Dale Jr;  Snail Burnfart Jr;  The Dirty Mo Posse;  The Pied-Piper,  The Green (red) Army;  The Dominator;  Driver #8.

·        Jamie McMurray – Suck-me McMurray;  Jamie Mc-F***ed-me;  Um-boy.

·        Joe Nemechek – Front Row Joe;  Furniture Row Joe;  Nemefu**ed.

         Juan Pablo Montoya - Wetback;  Fence Jumper

         Kevin Harvick - Happy Harvick

·        Michael Waltrip – Michael ‘Hit The’ Waltrip;.  Mikey;  Little Mikey

·        Tony Stewart – The Rushville Rocket;  Smoke;  Big Orange ;  Homo Depot ;  The Common Denominator

·        Kenny Wallace – Herman the German

·        Carl Edwards – Cousin Carl;  Sped-wards;  Opie Edwards

·        Jimmie Johnson – Uni-brow;  Jimmie ‘Jerk My’ Johnson;  Double J

·        Chad Knaus (Jimmie Johnson’s crew chief) – Chad Anal Canal-aus

·        Michael McDowell – Michael McFlippin'

         Kasey Kahne - 'Shaky Kahne';  In-case-he-can't

         Ricky Rudd - Crickety Crudd;  Pudd;  Dudd;  My name is Ricky Mudd

        Greg Biffle - The Biff;  'Why did you hit him Greg?"

        Mark Martin - Old Man;  My Favorite Martian;  Fartin Martin;  "Ma Ma-in!"

        Johnny Benson - Jughead

        Morgan 'the Lord is my' Shepard

I will be adding in the nicknames of all the drivers that have since retired next.  Until then, please let me know what you think of this article by sending your comments to:

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(Special thanks to Dave Mantle, Joe Bosco and Steve Bosco for their contributions.